I just came back from my neph's wedding. Their church was a converted warehouse, so they had to work with the cafeteria-style lighting (they had the wedding and reception in the same place, and people sat at the tables to watch the wedding). How they handled it, though, was by using lighting to make the room smaller and more intimate.
They used strings of white christmas lights, wrapped around poles (they used footage of tulle around the poles/ lights to soften the lights). Lots of candles, a few nice lamps and lucky for them, there was some track-lighting for the altar.
So this is what I'm adding to the idea bucket (for the inexpensive section):
10' PVC pipes (spray painted creme) capped with nice period finials(http://www.architecturalantiques.com/finials.jpg) or something similar (they would be seen several feet above, so they don't have to be spangly. Heck, we could tuck in fern fronds or whatnot. Tuck these poles into bronze-painted vases filled with papercrete or rocks to stabilize. Place these "movable poles" to where you would like to cut the room.
You can decorate the poles, top them with plants, string lights draped with cloth or beads between a two, etc. Afterward, use them for trellises in your garden or what-not. There's many uses for a pole. I'm talking 6-8 at the most.
Basically, using these poles and keeping the tables inside the circle would create a false perimiter for the room. You wouldn't have to make walls, just arrange furniture so that it looks like it would be in a room.
Also, if the ceiling is that low, grid-stuff, I have before bought a bolt of colored cloth (patterned or not) on sale (especially neat since winter is "after-season" for wedding-style and sheer cloth) and hung panels down to knee-level at intervals, put lights behind them, shining at the cloth. We could hang shop-lights vertically behind them, if lamps won't be bright enough to create ambient light and bring out the pattern on the cloth.
Using the marti-gras style beads, I've hung tassels or finials, etc. from the cross-points of the grids at random hights and location. Seriously, if done right with the right lighting, it does look classy. We could also hang some lighted ornaments tastefully from the ceiling, so it will add light but won't look like high-school prom (again, ecch).
Anyway, I've just realized that I automatically assumed that you folks were looking to recreate the "livingroom reception" in your decor. If not, let me know. We could also do a speakeasy thing, and save your calla lillies for the ceremony.
This is, of course, if you decide to have the reception hosted in the room below the church, instead of hosting it in a place where it will be decorated for you.
What were you guys thinking?
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Couple of ideas that might make life easier and less stressful for all of us is to use a B&B near the church. There are several who advertise "weddings" but none, thus far, have answered my emails.
We will need flowers for the church but will likely not need them for the reception.
I liked the ideas you had regarding mirror, beads, tall vase, feather as table toppers. In addition, there is the added bonus of not worrying if the florists things are back to them.
Florist appointments will be made this week (July 15).
If we DO do the downstairs under the church, the ideas you have garnered from the nephew's wedding will be magical in the basement at the church.
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